How Do You *Not* Know You’re Pregnant?
Posted by Rachel on March 23, 2008
The Iowa Hawk Eye recently published an article on an Army National Guard private who returned from Iraq on a two-week leave intending to propose to his girlfriend, only to be surprised when she gave birth to his son. Apparently she was surprised, too:
Malmberg first started noticing stomach pains last Saturday night when she was with Novak [her solider boyfriend], who was visiting his brother in Burlington. She went to bed early that night, hoping some rest would relieve her situation. “I just thought it was menstruation cramps. I was hoping they would go away,” she said. Other than an extra 20 pounds, Malmberg’s body gave no indication of her pregnancy. Her menstruation cycles continued at an irregular pace, which Malmberg attributed to physical exertion from all the time she spends playing competitive soccer.
Seriously? If I thought I wasn’t menstruating regularly because I was exercising so hard/much, I’d be suspicious about gaining 20 pounds at the same time. I’m always baffled by these stories, and usually chalk it up to denial in young women – Malmberg is 18. She did accept her boyfriend’s proposal – unfortunately has to return to Iraq to spend 3 more months looking for roadside bombs.
tanglethis said
One friend of mine and the mother of another friend of mine both had surprise births like this. They were both 16 at the time… but still!
In both cases the babies turned out pretty healthy despite the late of prenatal care… so I wish them the best of luck.
Rachel said
Tanglethis, I’m just sorry the father has to return to Iraq so soon, but it sounds like the baby was fine. Maybe young women are just more resilient.
Sheryl said
I have always wondered about that too. They must think the kicks are indigestion.
Kacy said
You hear many of these stories and like you I find it hard to take in, maybe because we actually had the morning sickness, heartburn, backache and the tiredness which comes with humping your bump around and they did not. How can these women be so lucky.
naomidagenbloom said
rachel, found this story (read the article) both strange and depressing. chalk it up to what–denial, abstinence-only education, fear of condoms?
-naomi
tanglethis said
I caught this on Jezebel: Woman, 57, finds lump is baby not cancer.
There goes our generalizations about the young! ; )
donna said
I think a lot of women are just very unaware of their bodies nad what is normal for them. I knew within two weeks both times I was pregnant, because I had very different reactions to what I ate. The first time it was eating Thai food and going to the bathroom and throwing up because I couldn’t handle the spiciness. That was so weird for me I knew I had to be pregnant. The second time I was trying to get pregnant so knew the week I was supposed to get my period and didn’t.
Lack of awareness or knowing what is normal for you is typically the reason these women don’t realize they are pregnant.
Jacqueline said
Like all of you who already posted, I too am fascinated with this question of “how could they not know?” and I too think it is some very strong form of denial. Is there any research study out there examining whether/why a certain % of women experience pregnancy symptom-free?
Trisha said
I knew someone who knew someone who this happened to. She was heavy anyway so she didn’t notice any weight gain. And her periods had always been irregular and it wasn’t unusual for her to go a few months at a time without a period.
Jamie said
If she was sexually active and having weird periods than she should of went to the doctor to see if any thing was going on especially with any pains or any thing that is not normal>>!!
anonymous said
I had a surprise birth myself. I was 17 when I had my baby girl. I had nausea but didn’t think anything of it as I also got nauseous when it was time for my period. Also, another reason I didn’t think I was pregnant was because I kept getting my period or what seemed like my period the whole nine months. I only gained 15 pounds the whole time. When I went to have my golf physical at 5 months they did blood work and tested to see if I was pregnant as it is procedure in all girls of my county and it was negative and 5 urine tests came back negative. So don’t go jumping to conclusions just cause a mother doesn’t know she is pregnant
anonymous said
This is possible to not know your pregnant. ive had a friend who didnt know she was until she went to emergency for strong abdominal pain and then they sent her straight to the labour and delivery. what it is, is when the placenta is attached to the back wall (posterior) of the uterus, which most often and normally it is, but sometimes is attaches to the front wall (anterior), which is called an anterior placenta, this would be the reason for the woman to not feel any baby movements because the placenta is acting as a coushion, making the kicks seem more dull and mistaken for abdominal gas. Also another reason is irregular menstration and weight. If the woman is overweight, her menstration will be irregular than someone who is healthy and exercise, some women are irregular anyways due to health and diet, and the tests coming back negative means that the test didnt pick up on the pregnancy hormone that you get the second you conceive. Not all pregnancy test are accurate, the only thing i believe to be accurate is an ultrasound, and the doctor is not going to give you one just for no reason at all.
Susanna said
Tanglethis, I know a woman who found out she was pregnant, figured out who the father had to be, adjusted herself to the situation… And then they told her, no, it’s not a fetus after all, it’s cancer.
She survived the cancer, although the tumor was pretty big. But what an emotional upheaval.
Marc said
Just found out today that I am 16 weeks. I have a 10 month old that I breastfed for the first 6 months. I went on the pill when I lost my milk. I hadn’t completely lost my belly from the last pregnancy and I thought the lack of a period was from breastfeeding. Now, I’m worried about my light drinking and taking birth control for 3 months of my pregnancy. Doctors don’t seem to worried.
Skin Care said
O my god … Anyway i wish good luck to the baby.
Liesl said
I am not sure if I am, I have nausia, but nothing else, period came at thge right time and I haven’t been eating like a normal person for some time now so I woulnd’t even know if food is an issue or not but now I’m all freaked out because one could be pregenant and never know. How can a sexually active girl live like this! thinking that the sure fire way to tell if one is not pregenant (period) is not good enough!!! Should we take a pregnancy test once a month to be sure???
Susanna said
Marc, don’t worry about the light drinking, if it really was really light.
The truth is that although heavy drinking can and will hurt the fetus, a little will not. We are talking very little here.
The reason why they don’t recommend you drink at all during pregnancy is that it’s impossible to define the exact maximum amount of alcohon that is still safe. Obviously, that would require lots of Nazi-type human testing.
Also, they are afraid that as people tend to belittle the amounts of alcohol they consume, many women would interpret this as a green light to drink all they wished. I’m a little concerned some readers of this blog will now interpret what I’ve said that way.
The easiest principle to follow is to give up alcohol altogether during pregnancy, just to be on the safe side. Then you won’t need to second-guess yourself.
Jenae said
Hello!! I am working with Mike Mathis Productions on a televisin show called ” I didnt know i was pregnant”. We would love to feature some of your personal or friends/family stories on our show. Please call us at 626-535-0868
Jen
Jenae said
Hello!! I am working with Mike Mathis Productions on a televisin show called ” I didnt know i was pregnant”. We would love to feature some of your personal or friends/family stories on our show. Please call us at 626-535-0868
Jen
kay said
i just found out i am 18 weeks pregnant. i have had 2 boys already with very obvious symptoms but after my 2nd baby (now 7 months) i decided to have an iud put in since i am allergic to ALL hormonal birth control. i had a little spotting right after and then nothing since then. ive had the iud checked by my dr a couple times and it stayed where it was supposed to. she said no regular period was fine and i didnt think anything of it til 2 weeks ago i swore i felt a movement like a baby kicking. in the last 2 weeks a whole bunch of symptoms and 2 pos pregnancy tests and sure enough…18 weeks! since my last baby is only a few months i didnt lose all my preg weight yet and so nothing has been noticable. ive asked the same question “how can you not know?” i guess its really possible.
Lori said
omg kay, i’m quite worried about being in this situation myself. i’m on myrena and everything appears normal…but every so often i could swear i feel movement like i did when my son [6 months] was in utero. i’m scared i could be pregnant again…considering i am no longer with the father and things are troubled enough between us as it is. and i still have all my preg weight as well. oh gosh..i guess i’m gonna have to go buy a test. :\
lee said
It is possible and no were are not mental! I am 40 years old with 3 boys. I knew every day I was pregnant with all three of them. But after the third my husband had a vasectomy. Two years later guess what happened? For the past 5 months I have been experiencing weight gain but figured it was due to having three boys, almost 40, winter and not as active, etc. My periods have been regular every month. I do not mean spotting…but regular! I felt like I could be pregnant and even took 3 home pregnancy test over the last 4 months. All said negative. I have had gallbladder pains and lots of gas so I went to my doctor. He ordered a upper abdominal us. They found I had gallstones and sent me to a surgeon. I was about to have my gallbladder removed and the surgeon ordered a pregnancy test just to be sure. Sure enough I am 5 months pregnant. It is real easy to blame other things especially when my husband had a vasectomy and was clear to go! I am getting my 5-7 day period every month! I have so many factors that make a normal person say “there is no way I can be pregnant, periods, negative test…etc. So you blame everything else you can think of. Yes this can happen!!!!!
Dee said
I am 36 years old a mother of 4 a couple of months ago I felt like I was pregnant, morning sickness, tender breast,and smells made me sick. I’ve taken several pg test all to be negative, recently I’ve been having alot of back pain and tender breast all of a sudden my period stopped after having a normal one every 28 days even during the earlier symptoms, I’ve taken several more pg test still are negative, I’ve gained a little weight could I be pregnant the Dr. says NO. Have not taken a ultra sound.
Pregnancy said
It is like the baby wants to surprise you
Hope all pregnancies will be healthy and the baby too.
PRINCESS said
Hey Lee now im extra terrified i had a negative blood test but my period was 8 days late but now its almost gone at 3 days and i still have headaches and nausea and no interest in my bf touching me. he gets on my nerves all day and he doesn’t even have to be home if im pregnant i might not find out till i deliver
azland faith said
in some cases pregnencey can give out diffrent signs as far as finding if your pregnet or not sometimes we can not ever know if the signs are typicle sickness of the body or pregnencey if we took the time to sat down and conversate about are past we would be able to find out better then we would be running in the streets of any city saying are you the dad
Nicole said
Hi. I dont know if I am pregnant or not. I have a 4 yr old and was told I cant have another baby because I have amenorrhea. I take prometrium almost every month. But here recently I have been in severe pain in my lower left side (near my hip)on the front of my stomach. I tried to get in to see my ob/gyn and they gave me the run around about what the insurance needs. My insurance only grants me 14 drs app. per yr. So I couldnt get into the ob/gyn so I came home and took a 800 mg ibruprofin. If I was to be pregnant I wouldnt know when it happened because I took 3 pregnancy tests a week ago. all neg.
Sex During Pregnancy Rep - BetterSex.com said
Well that’s sad that her guy has to go back to Iraq! I hope he will come back safe…
manda said
just want to let every one know that the chance of a woman giving birth to a baby and not knowing she was pregnant is 1 on 2400 and the chance of having twins is 1 in 7500
a large number of these girls or women are over weight and do not see weight gain or feel movement
recently my cousin just had a little girl and had no idea she was pregnant. no signs at all , nothing, please dont judge people that dont know cause you are not in their shoes. I have 2 boys of my own and i know what it feels like and what the signs are and i never seen one . so please dont assume that they are in denial. this happends
Linda said
I not sure if I’m pregnant. In Jan I had a etopic pregnancy which they removed my left tube. I started getting my period about 6 weeks after. My period before my etopic pregnancy was clock work and light flow every month lasting only 3 – 4 days. I had a 28 day cycle till about a year ago when it changing to a 35 day cycle. I’m 39 and had a D & C in my early twenties. Lately I have noticed alot of weight grain in the belly area and still very tired. Also my nipples still seem very large from my January pregnancy. I am still getting my period but now I have major cramping and pain and my period will lasts about a 7 days now. Last month my period cycle was back at 28 days and my flow was light and only lasted 4 days. I still get lower abe pain during the middle of the month about 2 weeks before my period. I did take a home pregnancy test last month to see if I was pregnant and it was negitive…. is it possible that I am pregnant again or are these aftermath signs of the etopic pregnancy? When I was pregnant in Jan I had “the signs” but now this time I am not sure…
anonymous said
I have always charted my fertility signs on a paper chart until recently I began charting with the “fertileview” software program which interprets my fertility signs and gives me a result based on my fertility goal. When my husband and I have tried to acheive pregnancy using the principles of fertility awareness I was always able to acheive and I attribute that to understanding the awesome design of my fertility. With that information I was able to know when my baby was due because I knew the date of conception- pretty cool!!! It works great- I highly recommend charting your fertility signs it is an empowering and great information for women and couples!!!! Go green with your fertility- then there are no surprises……
brit said
I’m getting desperate for answers. I’ve been having pregnancy symptoms for a while now, but a lot of them have disappeared within this past week or so. Some of my friends that have had kids before all keep telling me they think I’m pregnant too. I’ve taken at least 5 or 6 hpt’s and I’ve had a test done at a doctors office and all but one came back negative. I’ve gotten false positives before so I don’t know if I really trust hpt’s.but I’ve been gaining weight and I’m really starting to look pregnant. By my count I’d be between 11 and 15 weeks cuz the “period” I had in June wasn’t really a normal period for me. I don’t have insurance and I’m alittle strapped for cash so I haven’t gone to the doctor. If I don’t get a period this coming week I’m going to get a doctors appt. I really don’t want to be one of those girls that goes without prenatal care and I’m getting extremely frustrated with everything.
Ashley said
I am also worried. I have always had irregular periods. The last “real” one was back in April of this year when I was with my ex, and I was a little active during that month. I have had 2 semi periods since then, all they really were was just bleeding, not really a whole lot of clotting. Shortly after I started eating alot, having weird cravings, going to the bathroom alot.I also wake up kinda sick in the mornings. The smells of certain foods make me sick like the smell of scrambled eggs, and I love eggs. I also am gaining weight although I am kinda on the plump side as it is. I have found stretch marks that weren’t there before, and my mom says that she has no doubt that I am pregnant which is comming from someone who has had 5 children. Only problem is I’ve taken like 8 hpt’s and had one that was a faint positive. I have even gone to the emergency room to have a blood test and it came up negative. We think that I don’t have the pregnancy hormone because I am a severe chronic anemic, and the iron depletion in my body has kinda messed my body up. I am severly worried because I have no insurance and I am also kinda strapped on cash. I have no idea what to do, because if I am pregnant I am worried on how my child would turn out, because on my side of the family we have a history of having children with disabilities, and my ex’s side has the same history. I am very confused.
HELP!!
10+1 medical librarians blogs you should read | Knowledge beyond words said
[...] What? She focuses on Women’s health News and is willing to provide information regarding current women’s health topics, including policy, legislation, news, and events, as well as to point readers to additional useful resources online. For instance you can read this post:How do you not know when you’re pregnant. [...]