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What Not To Wear *In Your Vagina*

August 6, 2007

11f1.gifVia a tip from the fabulous Ms. Becky, the New England Journal of Medicine has a disturbing new entry in their “Images in Clinical Medicine” series. The CT scan to your left reveals “large intraabdominal cystic lesion with variable density and a thick wall.” That would be the big circle you see at the top of the left image, and the white circle in the right photo. The image was taken of a 50-year-old woman who presented with abdominal tenderness, fever, and vaginal bleeding. On exam she had “necrosis of the upper wall of the vagina.”

When random things like this appear in medical images, exploratory surgery is often done, as was done in this case. What did they find? A plastic bag containing 80g of cocaine.

The patient subsequently acknowledged inserting the plastic bag, containing individual packets of cocaine, into the vagina 3 months earlier. The bag must have migrated through the vaginal wall into the abdominal cavity, where it was encapsulated.

Did you get that? She put a plastic bag of coke in her vagina. 3 months ago. And apparently lost track of it. And it migrated into her abdominal cavity. From her vagina. Meanwhile, her body tried to seal it up in gunk.

Bottom line: Don’t wear coke baggies anywhere in your person. In general, don’t use your body as a hiding place. If you put something in your vagina and never see it again, check on it before 3 months go by. Unless it’s a frat boy – then you should just let it go.

Excuse me while I rock back and forth and shudder for the rest of the afternoon.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2007 4:46 pm

    If you put something in your vagina and never see it again, check on it before 3 months go by. Unless it’s a frat boy – then you should just let it go.

    Funniest thing I have read all day- and I have read a LOT of stuff today. Kudos!

  2. August 6, 2007 4:58 pm

    She forgot about 80g of cocaine? I mean, shoot, I worry about forgetting tampons up in there, but 80g of cocaine? And no offense, but didn’t someone want that? I mean, you’d think that’s not the kind of thing you could just lose without it being a problem (and not just medically).

    • christine permalink
      May 13, 2009 11:20 pm

      right! that’s like $8,000 worth of coke in some places!! wtf?

  3. August 6, 2007 5:04 pm

    Thanks, Ivy!
    B, I have no idea. Maybe she thought it fell out or was absorbed or something.

  4. August 6, 2007 8:32 pm

    That frat boy line was well worth suffering through all of the vagina talk.

    BTW, 80g is close to 3 ounces. Not only is that pretty pricey, but that is also pretty big. (I mean, I am not intimidated or anything, but…)

    I am guessing she had to be a mule and their had to be much more than that initially.

  5. August 6, 2007 8:39 pm

    OK, Ivy and Jackson already said this, but, that is a LOT of cocaine to misplace. is it possible she forgot about it, or was she in incredible denial? I am opting for option B.

  6. August 7, 2007 7:07 am

    Jackson, you know how I like for you men to suffer through the vagina talk. You and Hilary are right that it’s pretty big, just from looking at the images. The story doesn’t say how much she might have started off with, but I’m thinking it had to be considerably more, for that much to be left after 3 months. Yikes.

  7. August 7, 2007 7:56 am

    Rachel, not that I’m going to become a drug mule, but I’m curious as all get-out. Is there some sense of how much a woman can stuff in her vagina and still be able to walk around? I mean, I know it can stretch out to accomidate a lot of stuff, but dang…

  8. August 7, 2007 8:23 am

    B, you crack me up. I’m reasonably certain there are no good studies of this. :) You know, of course, that you now have me thinking of an experiment…

  9. snikta permalink
    August 7, 2007 8:32 am

    Rachel,

    Do you know how to contact her? I lost a set of keys a while back. I thought I had looked everywhere, but I guess not.

  10. August 7, 2007 8:33 am

    Heh. Well, I once lost a whole ironing board, so if I track her down, maybe we’ll both come out ahead.

  11. missedconceptions permalink
    August 7, 2007 3:34 pm

    Here’s my question: how did the cocaine eat through her vaginal wall without breaking the bag? They found it intact, right? I know cocaine can eat through mucous membranes (from TV, not that I have tried it myself; coke addicts always get bloody noses) but wouldn’t that mean it went through the plastic bag?

    And here’s my even more pressing question: is that a TWIST TIE on the baggie?

  12. August 7, 2007 4:09 pm

    MC – They don’t explain it fully, but I’m guessing your average kitchen baggy can leak a fair amount when it’s in your body for 3 months and filled with coke. Apparently the large bag was filled with several smaller packets, so I’m assuming enough seeped out to damage the vaginal wall while otherwise remaining largely intact (enough so to retain 80g). I don’t know how you don’t notice that for 3 months, though – it must have migrated before she showed up at the ER.
    Oy. Even on super duper zoom I cannot confirm or deny the presence of a twist tie, but it certainly seems that something is holding the top of the baggy together. I’m going to go shudder some more now.

  13. amani permalink
    August 9, 2007 11:18 am

    I’m shuddering too. How can someone forget someone like that???? Love the frat boy line.

  14. brittany permalink
    June 4, 2008 11:29 pm

    Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew.

    Did I mention ew? Because if not, seriously, ew. Ew.

  15. September 7, 2009 5:37 am

    Oh wow, 80 grams of cocaine thats around three ounces of coke, its not physically big, but considering every gram is worth $50 – $60 she should consider herself lucky to not have been cut open by the owner of said cocaine. There was about $4000(street value) worth of blow in her cooter.

Trackbacks

  1. Feminist Law Professors » Blog Archive » Oy.
  2. Perhaps You Should Keep Notes on What You Put in Your Vagina « Women’s Health News

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