When the Anti-Breastfeeding Bully is Family
July 12, 2007
The Lactivist has a great post about an acquaintance who received an email from a family member regarding a birthday party she was invited to. The woman was asked, as a “favor,” both to “go in the house or away from the group” to nurse (at a child’s birthday party) and to make sure her partner wears a “non-weirdo” shirt. The hostess doesn’t want anyone to feel “uncomfortable.” Good discussion going on in the comments.
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I agree that would really suck. It would make me pretty angry, as well. But some of the comments are over the top… Talking about not attending the party, or anything else in the future with this relative, etc. That’s a bit much.
I, like many of the commenters, was more offended by the t-shirt request than the breastfeeding one. I know that a lot of people can be REALLY uncomfortable with it. We should all get over that, but this is still a birthday party for a little (I suppose) kid. There are much better opportunities for confronting our personal taboos than when surrounded by screaming children. Also, note that the request was to “go in the house”, and not “go outside in the cold/rain/snow/dark/other crappy weather.” She was being asked to actually go to a more comfortable environment. I suppose the baby might prefer to eat where it’s quiet, and not hot.
I think the two combined (breastfeeding+shirt) were just totally over the top. I tend to think the baby should be able to eat wherever the baby is when it’s hungry. The hostess has every right to be obnoxious about a party in her own house, but I’d probably decline to play along.
Just bizarre – the person who sent the email has commented now in the thread about discussion with the hostess – “According to her, she has talked to everyone who is invited to the birthday party about the fact that I breastfeed, and each and every person there ‘doesn’t want to see that.’ In addition, some of them would be offended and would immediately get up and leave were I to start nursing.”
What kind of person goes around asking all party invitees their opinion of another?
A wierdo, that’s what kind. I would guess that she has her own stash of “wierdo” t-shirts in her closet.
It’s her home and she has every right to make the request. If the nursing woman has a problem with accepting her friends’ home rules, then she’s not much of a friend.
Larabella,
I don’t have a problem with people making requests for their own homes (even if they’re ridiculous). However, the hostess contacting every guest to talk about the breastfeeding and demand for a “non-weirdo” shirt – that’s a control freak, not a good friend or good hostess.
OMG! This is absolutely ridiculous. Not only would I not attend this party I would not maintain contact with this person. OR I WOULD attend this party with my starving baby and my “If breastfeeding offends you put a blanket over YOUR head” t-shirt firmly stretched across my milk-laden boobs.
Or the one that says “I make milk. What’s your superpower?” So many decisions!